Driving into the city on 9/11, I had to wait until after 8pm, when my street in ‘Ground Zero’ would reopen.  I started the car and the clock read 9:11.  Spooky?  Contrived?  Well, it was no surprise.  It matched the mood.  It made sense somehow.  Earlier in the day I had found one of the most peculiar (or appropriate) LPs I have ever run across, ‘Play It Safe!

This bit of genius in not JUST a recording, but a masterful safety device, as reliable as a scrambled jet ten years ago, designed to befuddle the cleverest burglar and save your life and the lives of your entire family.  How?  Simple…

Yes, just follow the detailed instructions and rig your turntable to endless repeats to foil the cleverest of bad guys, says this action hero of a record.  Lookin’ for homeland security? “Now…have somebody “home” all the time!” Anticipating virtual reality, we’re told this ‘special stereo record” is, ” an accurate reproduction of a real family at home.  Household sounds, voices, laughter, movement – even arguments!”

The really scary thing is that this is just Volume 1!

Walking back from the carpark the twin beams of light looked lovely in the haze.  I passed four police checkpoints, three of the officers on their cellphones, oblivious to passers by.  You’d be safer playing this record.