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Never Talking, Just Keeps Walking

Spreading his magic…

What with the imminent release of the newest and last Harry Potter book, this morning’s Marketplace ran a little feature on Wizard Rock. Well, this piqued our interest here at the ARChive because we maintain a database of genres, and Wizard Rock wasn’t in it.

Until today.

So what is it, you ask? Well, according to Wizardrock.org, the self-described “premier” wizard rock site (eat it, Real Wizard Rock!), it is:

…a genre of music inspired by the works of J.K. Rowling, author of the popular Harry Potter book series. […] Many, like Harry and the Potters, are named for a specific character and sing songs from their point of view. Many also dress up like the character for performances.

If you think that just about covers it, you’re sorely mistaken. By the way, don’t mistake Wizard Rock for filk (science fiction or fantasy based folk music) or for the kind of D&D/LotR thing that Led Zeppelin did, or emo, for God’s sake. Wizard Rock is its its own damn thing. MTV even said so.

Compliments of my sister-in-law Eileen, we have a set of Wizard Rock lyrics she made up:

Oh Dumbledore, oh Dumbledore / Now its time to settle the score / Perry, Ron and Hermione too / Will vanquish the evil, you know who.

Oh Dumbledore, oh Dumbledore / Now its time to settle the score / Perry of the fame / Will vanquish he who must not be named.

Pretty sweet, right? So when all the wizard rockers are dead, where will we bury them, in Harry Potter’s Field?

Ugh, no! In the Deathly Hollows, next to the Shreiking Shack, obviously!

Spoiler alert! In the new book Harry undergoes a sex change operation, and we managed to find this as yet unreleased image of her new look. All hail Henrietta!


My wife (who reads the Harry Potter books) had a set of lyrics on Friday, but we were out of computer contact through this morning, so it’s taken me until today (Sunday the 22nd) to post them. Here they are:

Keep your eye on the snitch and one hand on the broom.
But keep your head on straight ’cause the bludgers will always loom
Let ’em fly baby fly
Let ’em fly baby fly let ’em fly
To win the cup.

Now that Malfoy’s rich and his daddy buys him every toy
But in the end he’ll always be nuthin’ but a momma’s boy
Let ’em fly baby fly
Let ’em fly baby fly
Let ’em fly
To win the cup
Now the pitch was green and the sky was almost clear
But be if it starts to get cold you’ll know a dementor’s near

I have no idea what they mean, but they sure do sound convincing!


  1. jonnymia

    The real innovator in this genre is the great Roy Wood – not only a major force in mod-gods The Move, and the guy who invented the Electric Light Orchestra, and then left before they started to suck – he also had a band called Wizzard. And they played what I like to call Elf Rock. This was a late ‘Sixties early ‘Seventies genre of rock that stressed the universal appeal of lords and ladies, dragons, leafy glades and bold knights, with the occasional Golem for spice. Like Heavy Metal without the metal. If you’re thinking Jethro Tull, or “Stairway to Heaven” that’s about right. A good example would be “House Of The King” by prog-rock-melvins Focus, which recently gained fame as the theme song for British comedy series “Saxondale”, the best sitcom about a fifty year old ex-roadie who now works as an exterminator and drives a vintage Mustang… EVER!

  2. jordan worley

    I’ve have talked about this before, We need a really good database of Dungeons & Dragons Wizard Rock/Metal songs. With titles like “Enter the Dungeon,” “Warrior’s Prayer” and “Astral Plane.” It would really be inspirational.

  3. vonoomph

    Ach, Jonny! Compairng Wizzard with FOCUS?
    Do not forget that Wizzard was a leader in the cartoony ’50s/Wall of Sound branch of British glam, perpetrated in a more contrived form by such fave as Mud and Showaddywaddy. “See My Baby Jive” and “I Wish It Could Be Xmas Everyday” are far from elfin. Just because a gentleman wears face paint and is married to one of Renaissance doesn’t detract from the pound of glitter in his hair.

  4. jonnymia

    You caught me. I was trying to sneak some glam on to the iPods of some innocent sci-fi geeks using the band name as a wedge. But everything I said about Saxondale is the truth!

  5. Diana

    My nose got a little bit broken at a Harry & the Potters show! True story.

  6. Max

    Wizard rock you say?
    … Seems like it’s prog rock without all the reading to me 😛

    (Everyone knows dwarves are the prime fantasy proponants of Rock and Metal!
    Indeed some scholars on the subject believe that may have been the cause of the break up of the first Dwarven empire, unable to reconcile the two main genres of Dwarf culture a brutal and bloody war broke out, lasting through the eons of time…)